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2 fish in a tank 8/11/2004
2 fish in a tan k, one says to the other " you drive and
I will fire the gun "
0 Comments,
111 Views,
58 Votes
,0.97 Score
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How God Operates 8/11/2004
When I was a I prayed to God for a bicycle, then I realized
that God did not work that way.
So I went out and stole a bike and then prayed to God for forgivness
0 Comments,
50 Views,
37 Votes
,7.13 Score
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Mother in law 8/11/2004
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My
neighbour said " Are you going to help ?" I said
"No , Six should be enough!"
0 Comments,
118 Views,
35 Votes
,7.82 Score
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Life 8/11/2004
I'VE OFTEN WANTED TO DROWN MY TROUBLES, BUT I CAN'T
GET MY WIFE TO GO SWIMMING.
0 Comments,
55 Views,
23 Votes
,6.63 Score
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jokes 8/10/2004
2 men walk into a bar, 3rd guy ducks, ahahahah thats a cheesy
joke, but i always laugh at it.
0 Comments,
30 Views,
22 Votes
,0.84 Score
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Just some fucking jokes 8/6/2004
Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts,
than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture
of you penis, I will have it enlarged.
<br>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<br>
What is the dumbest part on a man's body? The penis.
It has a head with no brain, it hangs out with two nuts and
it lives around the corner ...
0 Comments,
118 Views,
54 Votes
,7.24 Score
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a slaves writing chore 8/5/2004
i will not put ex lax in Masters m&m's just before a play
party.
<br>
i will not say i have to pee after Master has spent 3 hours
tying me up
<br>
i will not put a clapper in the room where i am to be spanked.
<br>
i will not engrave the handles of Masters toys
0 Comments,
43 Views,
40 Votes
,6.03 Score
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40 THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK 8/5/2004
40 THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK:
<br>
>>1. I can see your point, but I still think you're
full of shit.
<br>
>>2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll
bet it's hard to pronounce.
<br>
>>3. How about never? Is never good for you?
<br>
>>4. I see you've set aside this special time
to humiliate ...
0 Comments,
54 Views,
80 Votes
,8.81 Score
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Just a few odd thoughts 8/5/2004
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic
Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98 or XP, you have to click on
"Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial ...
0 Comments,
37 Views,
31 Votes
,7.27 Score
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Wisconsin Study of Male Faces 8/4/2004
A study in Wisconsin showed that the kind of male face a woman
finds attractive can differ - depending on where a woman
is in her menstrual cycle. For instance, if she is ovulating
she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
And if she is menstruating she is more prone to be attracted
to a man with scissors shoved in his temple and a baseball
bat jammed up his ass while he ...
0 Comments,
51 Views,
24 Votes
,6.54 Score
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You might Be A Red Neck Master If 8/4/2004
You might Be A Red Neck Master If...
If the floor of your dungeon is covered with oil slicks and
grease stains,
If your idea of fetish gear is camouflage pants, NASCAR
t-shirt, and baseball cap,
If the only submissive you play with is also your wife, your
sister, and your aunt,
If you keep your crops in a rack on the rear window of the cab
in your pick-up truck,
If your cane ...
0 Comments,
51 Views,
31 Votes
,4.29 Score
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willy nelson 8/3/2004
did you hear that willy nelson got hit by a car?
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
yea i guess he was on the road agin.
0 Comments,
27 Views,
22 Votes
,2.89 Score
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Top Ten Things You Will Never Hear A Sub Say To Their Master/Mistress 8/2/2004
10: How was I supposed to know I wasn't supposed to put
your leather pants in the washer?
09: Yeah, right... SPANK THIS!
08: Tomorrow night, I get to tie you up, right?
07: God, you Dom's think the world should bow before
you!
06: And just what do you think you are going to do with that
paddle?
05: Sorry, I got a date tomorrow night. Some other time,
perhaps?
04: Spanking? ...
0 Comments,
43 Views,
55 Votes
,6.93 Score
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I slept with who? 8/2/2004
So this guy is at work and he cant stop thinking about his
wife. All day he thinks about her more and more. He has a perpetual
hardon and can't wait to get home. When 500pm finally
came around, he flew out the door, raced to his car, and was
speeding home to ravage his lovely bride. When he reached
thier house, he ran in the door, ripping his clothes off
as he climbed the stairs. When ...
0 Comments,
60 Views,
30 Votes
,3.34 Score
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Camping 8/1/2004
'If you went camping and woke up with a condom in your
ass
whould you tell any one'?
<br>
'No way man'!
<br>
'Let go camping this weekend'!
0 Comments,
55 Views,
24 Votes
,3.24 Score
|
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hammster jam 8/1/2004
a woman goes into a pet shop and looks at the hammsters there
are two cages one priced at 50pence the other at 3.00pound
she asks the manager why they are priced this way he replys"
50pence ones are just normal hammsters 3.00pound ones
are special as when they die you can make hammster jam "
so she buys 6 of the 3.00pound ones .
soon after they die so she boils them and makes the jam .as ...
0 Comments,
47 Views,
21 Votes
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song 4 you 8/1/2004
was it you that did the pushing put the stain upon the cousion
footprints upside down on the dash board.
yes it was i that did the pushing put the stain upon the cousion
footprints upside down on the dashboard.
well i think you orta.
leave now for doing the pushing and puting the stain upon
the cousion and leaving footprints upside down onthe dashboard.
yes i think i orta now ive had ...
0 Comments,
51 Views,
14 Votes
,0.74 Score
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Well that would be telling! 7/31/2004
An english man an I rish man and an american are at the top
of the empire styates building, after a long day drinking.
The american stabds up and proclaims
<br>
"Do you know that this american beer is soo good that
you could jump off here and fly around in in a big circle and
land again safely?"
<br>
The Irishman say's "I don't believe you.
Proove it!"
<br> ...
1 Comments,
90 Views,
18 Votes
,5.72 Score
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another blonde joke 7/30/2004
why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes???
<br>
Toes Go In First.
0 Comments,
39 Views,
9 Votes
,3.00 Score
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shaking out a rug.... 7/30/2004
a woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor
condo when a sudden gust of wind blew the rug and the woman
over the rail.
"god that was stupid" she thought as she fell
"what a way to die" she thought
as she passed the 14th floor a mam reached and caught her
"Do you fuck?" he asked..
"Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could
stop herself..he dropped her
as she ...
1 Comments,
98 Views,
14 Votes
,3.78 Score
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Resume of the President of the United States 7/29/2004
RESUME
>
> GEORGE W. BUSH
> 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
> Washington, DC 20520
>
> EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
>
> Law Enforcement:
> I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976
> for driving under the influence of alcohol. I
> pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's
> license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving
> record has ...
0 Comments,
64 Views,
26 Votes
,2.81 Score
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I guess so. 7/26/2004
It is easier to say 'No' than 'yes'. But
when it comes to the issue of emotions, I guess you say 'No'
when you mean to say 'Yes'
0 Comments,
47 Views,
8 Votes
,0.70 Score
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David Beckham tosser extrodinaire! 7/24/2004
Rebbeca Loos is seen out in a top london drinking beer
nothing special in that ?
Just it's the first time she has been spotted swallowing
Beck's in public
heard on Kiss FM radio
My version would be
why does Rebbeca Loos prefer to drink Beck's str8 from
a bottle
coz if she drank from a can it would have come str8 out of a
POSH box!
0 Comments,
62 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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Two jewish 7/24/2004
There were these 2 little jewish , friends since birth.
They did everything together. They played sports on the
same teams, went to the same college. As the years went by
the two boys drifted apart as their jobs took them in different
directions. They both got married and had and the years
just slip away. One day about 50 years later one old man was
taking his pants to the tailors to get ...
0 Comments,
59 Views,
12 Votes
,1.39 Score
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The Proctologist 7/23/2004
A man goes into the Proctologist office for the first time.
The doctor directs him to an examination room, asks him
to sit down and tells him he will be with him shortly. When
the man sits down he looks around the room and notices that
there are three items on a stand next to the examination
table:
1. A tube of K-Y Jelly.
2. A rubber glove.
3. A bottle of beer.
When the doctor came ...
0 Comments,
60 Views,
12 Votes
,2.80 Score
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Women Know 7/20/2004
What do you Tell a women with two black eyes???
<br>
<br>
Nothing, you already told her twice....
0 Comments,
88 Views,
14 Votes
,3.62 Score
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You Know You're Kinky When... 7/15/2004
...you keep fake hanging plants around the house, just
so your mother will never know what all those hooks in the
ceiling are really for
...someone refers to a serial killer as sadistic and you
roll your eyes, because the man has nothing on you.
...you realized you've charged more in lingerie than
you get paid in a year
...you have more toys than your
...you take up macrame, just ...
0 Comments,
122 Views,
44 Votes
,9.03 Score
|
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The SAM List (Smart Assed Masochist) 7/15/2004
Some people really want to be Smart-Assed Masochists,
but they can't quite get the hang of it. Here's
a few things they can do to become a genuine certified SAM.
Sing 'Happy Birthday To Me' and blow out the candle
during wax play.
Draw a picture of an open hand on your ass. Then draw a red
circle around it. Finish up by putting a slash through the
circle. (should turn out to be ...
0 Comments,
35 Views,
21 Votes
,6.10 Score
|
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jock with a 7/11/2004
a scotish man being of tight wallet went to a and asked
how much to wich she replyed "10 pound for the smooth
and 5 pound for the rough".
so he pays 5 pound anyway hes fucking away but has to stop
as its like fucking a bucket of glass .
give me the smooth he crys heres the other 5 pound.
with that she jumps off the bed and goes into the bathroom
.
she came out 5 mins later and starts ...
0 Comments,
74 Views,
24 Votes
,2.56 Score
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Adam Asks Why 7/11/2004
Adam looks around the garden of eden in awe of its splendor,
and then he see's eve swimming in a near by river.. smacks
himself on the forehead and asks god.. God look at eve what
are we gonna do?!! God cocks his head like a hearing a
whistle, and says I almighty don't have the power to
fix that.. Adam screams at eve and says, Now how are we gonna
get that smell outta those fishes...
0 Comments,
60 Views,
20 Votes
,1.47 Score
|
